#he just kind of gives up on the dream
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ghxst-bird · 2 months ago
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…kind of sick over all the parallels in jjk. They’re a special brand of angst hell.
And, look, I don’t think I’ll ever shut up about Yuji’s execution order. And how I think Gojo might be sick to his stomach and see some of Geto in him.
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feroluce · 10 months ago
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Lucid Dreamer (2/2)
part 1
Gepard stalls almost a week before he finally goes out to the safehouse, and it takes him a couple days to find it because Sampo didn't have the time left to be wasn't super specific about the location. But he does find it.
It's pretty bare bones, really. Gepard knows that was probably to be expected, but… It feels crushing, when he realizes there are so few personal things here. It's nothing specific to Sampo. Just some food, some medical supplies. A cot and a heater and a lot of mismatched blankets. Nothing to remember someone by.
But he does find the letters, in a metal box stashed away under the bed.
There are two for him. Three for Natasha, and two for Seele. One for Hook, one for Serval, one for Pela, one for Bronya.
Bronya's is mostly business. They knew each other from the whole Stellaron incident, but not much beyond that, and the incoming catastrophe is a more pressing matter. Seele's is actually two copies of the same letter, and Gepard realizes why when Seele is so angry she rips the first one up without reading it. He gives her the copy a couple days later, and she slinks off without a word.
Pela seems completely normal after hers is delivered, but Gepard knows better than to trust that. The next day, he finds her asleep in bed with Serval, bottles abandoned on the floor, both their eye makeup smeared and running and Pela's glasses horribly smudged and crooked on her face. Serval doesn't read hers in front of him, but she's clingy with Gepard, Pela, and Lynx for quite a while after. She throws herself into her work a lot. She insists the heater from the safehouse is busted and she needs to keep it. It's too dangerous for use by someone who's not an engineer. Might burn their house down or something. Gepard doesn't argue.
Hook's letter is short, with easy to read words. The rest of it is actually a treasure map, and she and the moles spend the next several days running through the Underground, finding hidden candy and toys. Hook asks them when Sampo is coming back, because one of the marbles she found from his map looks green, just like his eyes, and she wants to give it to him. Natasha shoos Gepard out of the clinic before he can even begin to think of an answer.
Natasha refuses to let him see what's in her letters, which ok, fine, he'll respect that. He hears from Bronya who heard from Seele who heard from Natasha herself though that one of the letters was a map and the other a catalogue, with all of Sampo's hidden "warehouses." Gepard promptly marches himself back out to the frontlines, where he can turn a blind eye. If a ton of stolen goods suddenly enters the black market, and if the orphanage and the clinic suddenly have new supplies, well, technically that's none of his business.
Gepard goes to bed, curls up under mismatched blankets and closes his eyes.
He doesn't dream.
One of Gepard's letters was also business, like Bronya's and Natasha's. He and Bronya follow everything meticulously, down to the letter, because there has to be some good to get out of all this, there has to be. Gepard can't let it all be for nothing, it would bury him.
And so the catastrophe passes. Not without casualties, and not without a lot of damage and destruction. But Belobog survives.
And after that, time just kind of…goes on. Gepard has been a part of the Silvermanes since he was old enough to enlist. The Fragmentum had gotten so much worse in the years before Welt sealed the Stellaron. He knows the statistics, it is literally his and Pela's jobs to keep track. He knows when he sees a face everyday in the camps and then it's suddenly gone. He's not unfamiliar with things like grief and loss.
He still catches himself checking the trashcans and the supply crates and soldiers' footprints sometimes, though.
But there comes a night where Gepard goes to bed, holding the mismatched blankets to his face, and he dreams. And it's strange, it's off, it sticks with him. Sampo doesn't look the same. He's thinner. His muscles have atrophied. He looks like how Gepard has seen soldiers after months in the hospital.
The most unsettling difference is there's a scar across the left side of his head, Gepard can see it over his ear, peeking out past his hairline, carving towards his cheek. Sampo is always careful about his face. Gepard once saw him dodge a Fragmentum monster and literally let it cut across his neck just to keep his face clear. He wouldn't let that happen for nothing.
Their actions in the dream itself aren't new. Sampo seems tired, run down and worn out, but he announces his presence with aplomb by lobbing a bunch of smoke bombs off the rooftops and sending his soldiers scrambling. Same shit, different day.
The new part is what he says when Gepard chases him out to the edges of the camp, tackles him into the snow. Gepard pins him to the frozen ground to detain him and Sampo doesn't even fight it, just looks up at him like he's seeing sunrise for the first time in months.
"I'll be home in one week."
#sampard#gepo#hsr gepard#hsr sampo#gepard landau#sampo koski#hsr natasha#pelageya sergeyevna#serval landau#bronya rand#hsr seele#hsr hook#honkai star rail#my fics#lucid dreamer#I was initially just going to let Sampo stay dead because I love that kind of thing#but I ended up liking this ending so I guess I'll let it stay haha#I love thinking about Sampo's relationships with the rest of the cast and their reactions to all this#he was a founding member of Mechanical Fever. he still plays shows with Pela and Serval.#Pela is constantly giving him second chances like in the museum event and letting him volunteer with the Silvermanes.#And Serval could say SO much about him but all she says is 'hah that guy' and mentions Gepard is going to catch him someday.#I need the three of them to be a weird trio of buddies fdksaljfdkl#Sampo is seen with Seele plenty and he's with Natasha so much that Hook literally thought he was horribly ill for a long time.#I love them having some kind of odd comraderie#and oh my god I am the biggest Hook & Sampo stan ever they're so so cute and sweet and precious and WAH#so I think Sampo would want to be prepared for just in case he didn't make it back. that he would have a contingency plan for everything.#and he would miss these people and this city enough to show up in their dreams one last time.#but I'd like to think he saved Gepard for last#and it is not just because he has a crush or any kind of romantic feelings for him. There's more to it than that.#(If I'm being super honest I don't even really ship them with romance involved. I have a hard time picturing them like that.)
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mariatesstruther · 6 months ago
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okay but a version of events in which tommy takes ellie to the fireflies, but NEITHER of them come back. and maria joel have to work together to get them back
#maria and joel best friend agenda#has someone already done this (in a way that actually characterizes maria as an actual person w a plot lmfao)#pissed off maria and regretful af grumpy joel having to team up#joel at first being like i canNOT let you come with me youre pregnant#maria: and who the fuck are you to tell me what to do#joel: okay ur coming i guess#him doing anything and everything to make the trip as easy and safe as possible for her#runs on like four hours of sleep every night so she only has to take one watch and gives her 70% of their food#at first maria is sooooooo not having it like#sure you care about me and my baby who you asked your brother to LEAVE for yOUR SELFISH SHORTSIGHTED ASS#but then one night hes telling her a story about ellie and then she tells a story about kevin and he tells a story about sarah#and she can see how much he loves not just his late baby girl but his living one too#and in that moment she just kind of gets it#tommy told her this part of joel was long dead#the part that was soft and loving and good#but he was wrong#he was so wrong#and all maria needed was to see that for herself#and then they team up and break into davids camp and take care of business#tommy and ellie are probably there that makes sense#and then ellie is like we still have to finish this we’re going to the fireflies#maria: um haha ur funny no we’re not#ellie: i—#maria to tommy and joel: no we’re not everybody pack it up#we’re going HOME#joel and tommy: yes ma’am#maria miller#joel miller#au#i had a dream abt this last night couldnt at least do a tag story on it
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hidden-havven · 2 years ago
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1 life left sure hope nothing bad happens to them..
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plus more doodles (cw: blood (not very graphical))
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g e g g i s l o v e g e g g i s l i f e
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cdroloisms · 3 months ago
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Oh I was just haunted by jmah!Dream’s deteriorating mental state
:C my BOYYY
and it's awful, too, because it's not like Dream is in a particularly good state of mind when the prison starts in the first place. and he's in here because he's terrified (and he's in here as punishment) and he's in here because even though Sam hates him--and he's ensured that Sam hates him, and he's planning to do more to make sure of that fact as well (in canon, c!Dream is talking to c!Sam 'all about exile' in those first few days)--Sam will do his job. he trusts him to do his job. he knows Sam, the man that he's worked with for the last month on this project, on making sure this prison is as secure as it can possibly be, one of the final few people to work with him before the events of the green festival, doomsday, staged finale etc. made sure he'd stand alone, just where he was supposed to. this is a Dream that's already been swimming in the lava before Sam travels back in time.
unlike Sam's betrayal in canon, there's nothing slow about what happens in JMAH. there's no ability for him to cope and go yeah, Sam's being kind of serious, but it's no big deal, yeah, this place kind of sucks, but it's survivable, yeah, there's some mistreatment, but I expected that. in an instant, Sam goes from a predictable cog in the machine meant to keep him alive into a stranger hellbent on torturing the fuck out of him, and he has no idea why. Sam is nowhere near as straightforward as Quackity in explaining what the hell he wants out of Dream--he asks for the book, sure, but also for information, also for complete obedience, also for explanations for things he shouldn't know and punishments for things he never did. there is no promise that the revive book will end anything, for this Dream, and no one to give him anything at all but the Warden.
just ,, the lengths to which this Sam is willing to go, the intensity of his obsession, the way he'd be left reeling with no choice other than to endure and wonder why breaks my heart. Dream has no fucking clue to what end this is all for, and i think he struggles a lot with that. worse than just the torture, perhaps, is the familiarity, the sparks of something that is almost fondness, the satisfaction in Sam's voice when he's gotten something and Dream isn't even sure what he's just given away--and maybe it'd be easier to understand if what Sam wanted from him were any more straightforward, if the desire could pan out as something as simple as sadistic pleasure at hurting him or deriving some kind of gratification from making him submit or wanting power or to eliminate a threat or anything, but all that is clear is that Sam wants something from him and will stop at nothing to get it.
c!Dream and identity is already a finicky thing as well as his whole complex about himself and evil--c!Dream thinks he's a person that does evil things to achieve good ends, but he struggles pretty heavily, honestly, with himself-as-evil and being viewed as evil-and-just-evil and actually being the tyrant-villain-monster-snake-that-just-bites, etc, which means that there is a level of vulnerability here when it comes to how he sees himself and builds his identity and the constant, relentless onslaught of . pain and torture combined with Sam justifying it all by Who He Is Innately and monologuing about how he deserves it all, because c!Dream isn't a person that doesn't think that punishment as a concept is wrong and doesn't necessarily disagree that he's evil either. and again. torture self harm box of mental illness. and part of the problem with a Sam that's fresh from Daedalus and then thrust into kind of the worst possible position of reflecting on those conversations by being in a place where he's able to fall hard on old habits to copium his way out of dealing with anything he personally might have done (because obviously he can just Fix It Now) while also having the additional cope of i-am-godsent-to-make-everything-better BY keeping dream in a box, you kind of get a situation where both Dream and Sam are psychologically in pretty vulnerable places and then you're taking a torture machine hammer to those stress points. so it's fun.
i have no clue if that last paragraph made any kind of sense btw.
but ... yeah. even for any character in any kind of state the insane torture contraption of torture efficiency would be. erm. extremely damaging to one's mental health, to say the least. the only good thing for dream i guess is that sam still has his head too far up his own ass to actually git gud at conditioning anyone deliberately and is therefore still largely skating by By Accident, because otherwise his head would've been even more blendered than it already gets.
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welcometoteyvat · 1 year ago
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tags: fluff(?); lyney x gender neutral reader; very vague spoilers for the motifs present in lyney’s story quest (no plot points spoiled)
there's a little bit of magic falling in love with lyney. every day he has a new trick to show you—a sprig of baby's breath miraculously tucked into your collar before you head out the door, an elegant watch magicked onto your wrist right before your disbelieving eyes. When you ask him what his secrets are, Lyney just laughs, like a bell in the light spring breeze, and kneels down to kiss your hand. "A magician has to keep some of his secrets, my love! After all, you already know a fair few of them." Oh, what a tease—just as silver tongued and charming as the first time you met. “Aw- please, Lyney, don’t you trust me with your truths?” You half smile and half pout, arranging your features into your best pleading expression, and you can see your great magician giving in. 
"Ah, alright," and he's tapping his chin in mock thought, eyes twinkling, "since you asked so nicely, I suppose I can show you a couple more tricks, as an apology for my insincerity." Lyney winks, his serious act dropping in a flash, and you laugh as he pulls you towards the plush velvet couch. After he’s sure you’re comfortable, Lyney grows serious again, and you know the real show has begun. He pulls chocolates out of prop cards, bouquets from his hat, and, at your request, promises to pluck the stars from the sky to decorate your dreams, as a reminder of his love. His breezy solemnity makes you laugh, but you wouldn’t doubt Lyney’s word. It’s so easy to love him, and almost as easy to believe his magician’s world of dazzling stunts and marvelous tricks. But underneath all his glamorous charm and beyond the brilliant light of his performances, the hand that holds yours is quite warm, quite solid, and quite real. So too is his quiet admiration when you talk excitedly about your passions, and his eagerness to learn about your world. When you're together, there are no facades obscuring his earnest fondness for you—it’s one of the few truths of Lyney’s life. He hasn’t yet told you many things, but you don’t seem to mind as much as he expected. Smart as you are, you’ve already guessed at some of his secrets, yet you still place in him all your faith, all of your affection. Someday, maybe he can also learn to give himself wholly—without reservation. After all, you are one of his unwavering truths, and him? He’s your fantastical, wondrous everyday magic.
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wildsaltair · 2 months ago
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10/10 no notes, just Maximus looking adorable and cozy in a blanket woven from pure husband material
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shewhoeatssand · 4 months ago
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I want to befriend Kaneki and meet with him and email him forever
#we should do everything together everything should be parallel play#and then when we go our separate ways at the end of the day I want to still email him things#like pictures of succulents and a glimpse under the amazon river#I want to email him pbs eons videos#I can show him coffee shop vlogs and ask “is this u”#in person I’d mostly let him do the talking and decide what to do#take me down the most intimidating alley on a whim after you said we were just buying lunch pls#I want to eat lunch with him so bad 😭😭😭🙏#it’d be kind of awkward though bc he wouldn’t be eating anything he’d just be sipping his coffee#being with Kaneki is the ultimate dream I wanna see his morning irritation I want to be pleasantly startled by him with his quiet footsteps#& get to ask him about what he’s reading#or how his training is going#or whatever he’s doing#I would ask him how he’d rate vacuuming out of 10 and if he gives it below a 5 will vacuum his house#I feel like he’d lie though and say he likes doing every kind of work just to stop others from doing it#unless he wasn’t in a state where he’s able to actively think about others like that#he should stop doing things and jsut relax imagine taking him on a nice tour trip up mount Fuji that would b nice#stay in a cabin make a snowman clap for him when he skis#he was so good at skiing in the TG calendar?!?? who taught him to ski#did he read “idiots guide to skiing” a day before and absorb all the knowledge like a sponge#he’s so smart. I wish I was smart. or at least smart in an applicable way#I want to try harder but I kind of can’t#or I get sort of frozen by something and can’t find a way forward unless I scurry around it (no one wants u to do this)#I love Kaneki he’s both literally and kind of metaphorically half human and I am too so if we combine we’ll have the power of one full human#we can be human if we stand close enough together#idk he might not want to stand next to me tho he has better options#kaneki time
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amelikos · 1 month ago
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Amethio taking after Gibeon's strong will and inability to ever give up.
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ramayantika · 1 year ago
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Okay but the life of the legendary Shovana Narayan altered my brain chemistry, a superb academic record hold, a maestro in kathak and then also a civil services officer with a long distance marriage and motherhood
If she could do this in the 50s and 60s, wtf is stopping me from doing so, when I have never wanted just one thing to define me
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cerealmonster15 · 2 months ago
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i was lookin at a few vids about the bg3 dream visitor romance [spoilers if anyone's still early game i guess lol] and like i was so shocked people were, like, so upset and betrayed when they discovered the dream visitor's true form fksdjgkdljf like okay i forgot not every corner of the internet has monsterfuckers and also i guess normies are playing this game. and ALSO it reminded me that the % of players that even have the steam achievement of sleeping w/the emperor at all is so low. 12.7%. why is everyone a coward. i'm not even a self proclaimed monsterfucker. i dont like sex and im mildly phobic of tentacles. WHY IS EVERYONE A COWARD!!!!!
tho to be fair probably a lot of ppl are also romancing a companion and wanna be faithful - ive only gotten to that scene in multiplayer where none of us were in companion romances so it was guilt free go for it see what happens, in the discord call all together LOL..... then we had a lover's spat after the raphael fight 😑
#im p sure you have to become a mindflayer to do his whole romance which i dont wanna but like it's fun to see what happens lol#but also our friend has played further and was heavily biased against the emperor#im like dude no spoilers i wanna make up my mind as we go. im gonna fuck him LOL#3/4 of us did#our friend didnt and then he was like OH WAIT I FORGOT THERES AN ACHIEVEMENT well thats what u get for being a hater i guess#p sure we are going to betray him and break that guy outta there but idk maybe we wont. gotta mix it up see what the vibes are#in the multiplayer game we kinda just let things happen in the moment it's a fun and chaotic time#sometimes we lie. like we lied to raphael. it's fine#and then we tried to lie to the emperor about the fact that we made the deal but i think we rolled bad lol#so he knew and we had to be like IT'S FINE DUDE TRUST ME WHATEVER#anyway my point was i was surprised people werent into his tentacle form i just assumed all sex enjoyers do but#i forgot about the normie allos..........#there was like ONE person in the comments that was like yeah i romance the dream visitor and YES i know 👍#only real person in that comment section i s2g#anyway we havent finished a full playthru yet so idk maybe ill be a hater by the end of it but rn i have fun with him#even tho he was kind of a bitch when we had that latest talk lol he was so shamey about our raphael deal 😒#i think he was mad he couldnt see what we were up to down there like bro give us some space!!!
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csphire · 1 year ago
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Okay, I'll say it. I don't like the idea that post epilogue, Dammon is just banging away at his forge alone, still holding a torch for Karlach. This isn't some comment made in jealousy at all, but one meant to say Dammon deserves better than to be some kind of thirst joke afterthought.
At the epilogue party, the game makes it pretty clear she's with Wyll if alive and not romancing the player.
In a DLC, Dammon is the perfect candidate to become an Artificer companion-hells maybe even become an origin option too! But most of us would settle for him to be simply a companion and romanceable like Halsin and Minthara or just a romanceable NPC that's not some one-time fling. He's someone we can visit on the daily most of the time, so yes, it can work.
But why? Because he deserves to be wooed and romanced by Karlach, Tav, one of the other companions, or hells all three at once. To say he can't be romanceable because he would lose his mystery is pure bullshit. Sorry Frazier, but it's true.
Gaw! It's so frustrating when a solution and an opportunity are all right there, and it's overlooked or ignored. He can be BOTH romanceable and mysterious when all that's needed is to write him in a way that leaves the player yet not Tav or Durge in the dark.
Dammon could even be written in a way where the player questions if our fav blacksmith could be up to no good. Let the fandom sweat over and argue about whether or not we should help him with some mysterious mission. Have him outright refuse to elaborate on it. Let him be equally tight-lipped about all he was forced to do or willingly did to survive in the hells when working on infernal machinery. This way, Frazier can play what he loves to play the most, and that is at least a potential bad guy. Well, not mean to the player but instead a character some might find almost as sketchy as Astarion is viewed would be fine.
*sighs* Why does he need to be romancable to everyone too? The simple answer, all of us could use a little bit more sunshine.
If I could say one thing to Frazier, it would be, "Karlach is not the only touch or affection-starved character out there. There are so many real people who need a Dammon in some form in their lives, even if it's only fictional. Karlach and Dammon's story is important to us. A Dammon and Tav/Durge story is just as important, too. These stories of love and friendship all need to be shown and celebrated. Plus, Dammon comes off as warm, thoughtful, and supportive, and so many of us out there really desperately need that-the more the better. We need it to feed our hopes to keep trying and open up our hearts again. So let him help fix heal more than just one heart, please. We all want to see him grow just a little more because he's such a fantastic character so far."
#i will die on this hill#bg3#baldur's gate 3#dammon#dammon deseves more love#pardon me#I just need to yell a little#just frustrated over such potential of a wonderful character going to waste#he's got so much wonderful potential#bg3 dammon#baldur’s gate 3#baldur’s gate 3 DLC#artificer class#battle smith#In BG3 EA Dammon was about the first NPC I overheard expressing his problems and with zero thought of a reward I just wanted to help.#no mission or quest given#I don't normally do any kind of roleplay in games.#But when I overheard him say he needed better tools I made my own damn side quest to give him every one I could find for free.#zero pity for him just felt oddly compelled to help his dreams come true with every hammer or anything blacksmith might need I plucked up#Hoped he would make it even though I was certain he'd end up dead in a ditch. That's what happens to most NPCs that pluck the heartstrings.#felt very protective over him in EA and still now#A tiny crush I fought tooth and nail because I was convinced we would find him dead in act 2 or 3 or never see again#it bloomed up to full-on love finding him again at the Last Light Inn at the full release of the game.#“Yah! I'm so happy to see you again! You're still alive!”#“But it’s not safe here! Oh nos!”#“You're here!” Happy and Excited#“You're here!” Fearful and Worried#Then that fucking ox!#“It's dead and oh here are a dozen hammers my love”#“That’s four times I've saved you. At least once directly. Wanna go out? What? Saving someone repeatedly IS a love language.”
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lanternlightss · 2 months ago
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hello my beautiful mutual ur bard rambles(of the bloodstained variety) keep reminding me of the song tounges and teeth by crane wifes and I think U might enjoy the lyrics in corrupted bard context ok that is all <2
hello my wonderful beautiful mutual !!
oh my goodness ,,,,
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joyridingmp3 · 2 months ago
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had a weird first time ever experience tonight. my mum pulled me in for a huge, super tight hug and told me "everything's gonna be okay"
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shazleen · 1 year ago
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Boston
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pepprs · 1 year ago
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im home and already swallowed by despair. can you believe i was in CHICAGO a few hours ago. and now im here. lol
#i know i know. and i need to let the anguish motivate me to get out of here. but it feels like i dreamed it all#purrs#chicago#i had a rough time getting out of the hotel and through the airport to my gate and also im bad at math so i fucked up the calculation about#when my flight lands bc of the time zone change and i gave my parents the time in central time not eastern time so my dad was waiting for m#for like a half hour and texting me and i wasn’t answering bc i was still in the air and he was pissed at me and snarky in my texts with hi#and i was sitting there on the plane and could just feel his words ripping into me and the horrors rushing back in and i still haven’t#recovered from it honestly. it wasn’t that big of a deal he just said something that i misunderstood as him saying he was giving up waiting#for me and going home bc id already wasted his time and even though that was not what he actually said it just kinda burrowed into me that#my parents were mad at me and were probably also mad at me for not communicating with them AT ALL the entire time i was in chicago. and it#just was eating me alive. im home now and we haven’t talked about it but they did say things disapproving of the fact that i did a lot of#stuff by myself which i probably shouldn’t have told them. idk. it’s not even that bad i just am torn apart by their rejection of me and#utter inability to just like be happy for me without criticizing some part of it or restraining me. plus the house is just as much of a#biohazard as it was when i left and all the broken things are still broken and it’s like. a lot. i miss the hotel LOL#i think im just sleep deprived and not in my head right today but i do not want to be here. sinking in quicksand unable to breathe. but i#have to be the one to get me out of it and i should have learned how in chicago but i didn’t it was just a break and now im stuck again#delete later#kind of terrible that instead of being so proud and happy about what i did my immediate reaction is to be miserable that im home now lol
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